Counting Down...

So this historic (in both good and bad ways) year has come to an end. I am among the folks that think the next year couldn't get much worse economy wise. At least I'm hoping that's correct. Hopefully, President-elect Obama will help turn the country around.

I resolve to start exercising and dieting (yeah, big shocker there). As usual, I'll probably give up after a couple of weeks, if that long. We'll see how it goes.

Do you have any resolutions? at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Post-Christmas Revelations

Actual heading in the user manual of a Samsung Blu-Ray disc player:

Before using the user manual

And it's on page 9! Not the first thing you open up to, but you actually have to read through the table of contents (or whatever they're considered in a user manual) to find it. Nice huh?

Christmas this year was nice though I had to contend with a sick kid. Now the other one is sick too. Such is the case of a household with children. I'm sure I'm next on the list. Good times. Nothing says joy to the world like laying on the couch watching A Christmas Story fifteen times in a row and being miserable. Poor kid didn't even want to open her presents. Now that's sick.

Stocking up on Theraflu at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Tis the season

So I am sitting at work not feeling especially motivated. Maybe it's because I know that I have a bunch of stuff to do regarding the 25th of this month and I'm so not feeling it.

Maybe it's the economic downturn. Maybe it's the commercialization of the holiday. Maybe it's because I'm lazy. I'm betting it's a combination of all these factors. This year I just have not felt much in the Christmas spirit and I'm not sure why. I have managed to procrastinate longer than I ever have in the whole gift-giving process. Yeah me. I have just over a week left and I'm sorry to say that I'm not very inspired. Ugh. What is wrong with me? Maybe I'm suffering from Charlie Brown Christmas syndrome. Guess I should go looking for a pathetic looking, little tree to lift my spirits.

All's right with the football world

This was a good football weekend, let me tell you. Michigan actually won, and against a top-10 team, LSU won (albeit against a not so great Mississippi State), and Florida lost (say it with me folks, he-he complete with Nelsonesque pointing). The Saints won and the Lions didn't lose (probably because they didn't play but we won't think of the glass half-empty). Matt Millen is no longer employed with the Lions so we can hope the franchise will turn around. And if it doesn't, we won't admit that he might not have been the problem. Deuce McAllister played, and played well thank you very much. I think the Saints organization has finally come to realize what he means to them and hopefully won't be stupid with him in the future.

In other news, there's the whole bailout mess. Maybe it's just me but does it not seem a bit unfair that we responsible folks have to keep paying our mortgage, pay the high gas prices, cut back everywhere we can to make up for the rise in everything from milk and bread to batteries and building materials, but these irresponsible buttheads in these corporations get a bailout from Uncle Sam for being greedy idiots. Once again, maybe it's just me.

Watched the presidential debates on Friday night. So far, not too impressed with either one, but have to admit I liked the fact that Obama would actually speak to McCain even if it was not reciprocated. Thursday's VP debate should be interesting. Heard they had to reformat the whole thing since they thought Palin wouldn't be able to handle a whole 5 minute discussion on issues going back and forth. If she can't handle 5 minutes discussing stuff before they're even elected, what's she going to do if she and McCain are elected? Call a timeout when discussing major issues? Have a break during speeches and summits? Just wondering.

Can't wait for November at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Random Thoughts

I don't know why I do this to myself, but I read the news on one or more the news websites every morning and I'm always shocked and the crap going on in the world. I'm also a little disappointed in us as Americans that some of our priorities for the media are more than a bit skewed. Examples you ask? Well, for one a story about Britney Spears seems to be more more important than a story about soldiers in Iraq. Whether or not Governor Palin really "killed" the "bridge to nowhere" is more important than how to help people losing their houses and jobs. I like sensational journalism as much as the next guy (loved the SNL skit with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler), but shouldn't these news outlets get back to covering what really matters? Just wondering.

There was a story about an inmate in Ohio that is on death row but they can't execute him because he's too fat. For me, this brings us two issues: 1) how does an inmate that supposedly being punished for what I'm guessing was a pretty heinous crime, if he's on death row, manage to get so much food that he's now obese and 2) if he's scheduled to die, what does it matter if he's fat? I guess his veins are now too hard to reach since he's gained so much weight. Why is a raping murderer able to get more food than hard-working Americans that are just struggling to get by? Once again, just wondering. Just to rub the salt into that wound a little further, these people working so hard just to put food on their tables, are paying for this guy to get fat. Nice huh? Oh the irony.

The aforementioned thought brings up another thought. It has to deal with the death penalty. I think that the death penalty should be applicable for certain crimes. And if it's an especially bad one, killing a child, for example, I think the inmate is getting off pretty easy with a lethal injection. I wonder about all these people who worry about the death penalty being "cruel and unusual punshiment." If this person is getting the death penalty, I think they inflicted cruel and unusual punshiment on their victim(s) and I'll be damned if I'm feeling bad for them. They're lucky our society doesn't follow through with that eye for an eye thing. Okay, done with that ranting. Sorry about that folks.

Chris Cooley of the Washington Redskins was in the news the other day as he had posted some pictures of himself um, without apparel if you will. He said he was just trying to show the game notes that he was looking at before the game and he just happened to be naked while doing so. My question is, how the hell do you let that happen? What kind of moron puts the book where he puts it and doesn't realize what might be captured for all to see? Oy. And these guys beat my Saints.

Well, that's it for my seemingly endless ramblings. More to come.

I think I need Ritalin at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Updates - Political Rant

It's been a while since the last post. Well with all the excitement from Faye, Hannah, Gustav and Ike, we've been on our toes down here in Mickey Mouseland South. Joy of joys, only about 3 more months of hurricane season. Yippee.


I have been trying to be a good American and follow the presidential race but I have to admit that I'm tired of listening to these people. It's always the negative stuff about the other guy. Tell me what you will do for us, how you will fix the problems we're facing, balance the budget since we're only $407 billion in debt (thanks George), get the troops home, fix the economy, curb global warming, get us off our dependence on foreign oil, and the list goes on.


Watching Obama you have to think he'll do well because he seems to have an engaging personality as opposed to McCain, who someone once described his speech giving "like watching paint dry." No offense Sen. McCain, but I'm just waiting for him to keel over from a stroke or something.

This brings me to another point. Gov. Palin has been all over the news since they announced that she would be the VP candidate with McCain. Everywhere you go, there she is. On magazine covers, on television, on the internet. The public seems pretty polarized with her, either loving her or hating her. I don't know what to feel about her. Well the "love her" side seems to think that the "hate her" side is unfairly attacking her. I say, welcome to the club. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. You have to know that this is expected during this time of the year. Elections are right around the corner and since she is an unknown, the opposing team is going to jump on every little piece of information that might bring her down, just the way the Republicans did to Obama.

Personally, I don't have a problem with her being a working mom. There are more than a few of us out there doing it and more power to you. While I admire that she has a special needs baby, and knew this before he was born, I don't think they need to milk it quite the way they have. People have special needs kids all the time and they aren't running to every media outlet announcing that they could have had an abortion but chose to give birth to the baby. I don't personally know anyone who wouldn't give birth to a baby with Down Syndrome. It's not the same as if they had the amniocentesis and found out the baby would be born missing all it's limbs or having severe structural deformities. That would have been something altogether different.

My concern is, as seems to be on the mind of many people, what are her ideas on reform. That seems to be her claim to fame in AK so what's she going to do in Washington? There are already stories of her getting money from lobbyists for her gas pipeline (to be fair, not sure if they're true), and then the story of her using her gubenatorial power to get a public safety official fired because he didn't fire an ex-brother-in-law (also waiting on the outcome of that). Though does look a bit wrong that when they mention having the whole debacle investigated by an ethics committee, she's trying to get it moved to a committee in which she's the chairman or some such thing. Isn't that the whole point of having a separate investigative body? Maybe it's just me. And the whole hulabaloo about the "bridge to nowhere" and how she said she was the one to kill it but they say she supported it, and the money it brought to her state, and then nixed it after Congress found out what a waste it was.

Her religion is her religion. I won't knock what someone believes unless they start trying to infringe on other people's rights. You don't like gays, fine. I don't think it's right to deny them benefits for the same-sex partner dealy that she did up in AK. If they pay taxes, shouldn't they get the same rights? Once again, maybe just me. Also, she has many quotes that she believes things are "God's will," which is fine but not when you're talking about war and you may be one of the people in charge of starting or finishing one. Best get your priorities straight on that one. Great that you son is being deployed to Iraq, but there are millions of other people who have loved ones that are being or have been deployed. If you care about them, look at options to get their loved ones home as soon as possible, minimizing any possible impact it may have globally.

I guess I'll have to wait and see how she does during the debates when she doesn't have a script to read off of and a teleprompter to use (heard that hers broke down during the RNC, tragedy of all tragedies right?). And for all those people that are asking why people are so concerned with her instead of John McCain, it may have to do with that nifty little article two of the Constitution of the United States of America. Let's face it folks, McCain is not getting any younger; if he's elected as president and something happens to him, we may be stuck with someone that we should have asked more questions of.

I'm just saying at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Waterlogged

Greetings from the state currently known as Inundated By Tropical Storm Fay. :) It's been raining for like 3 days and the storm isn't even over here anymore. Gotta feel for those folks up in Daytona and the surrounding area as Fay has decided to camp out there, see the sights, sit on the beach.

Some places are getting over 30 inches of rain. 30 inches! When you start talking about rain in the amounts of feet, there's problems.

I think the powers that be decided that they were tired of meterologists making "predictions" on what this storm would do and gave them a big ol' f-you! If you don't live in Florida and haven't been paying attention, Fay already made two landfalls in Florida (though I don't think they should count Key West since it's about a fly speck on the map anyway) then whipped across the state, gaining strength (which never happens when a storm crosses over land) and decided to camp out on the Space Coast (aka Daytona/Cocoa Beach/Cape Canaveral area). This thing was supposed to be through the state already and on it's way to Georgia or some such place. My luck, it will do something funky, end up back in the Gulf of Mexico, and hit us again. Yeah, I'm so lucky I should play the Lotto.

I'm so ready for this hurricane season to be over.

Only 100 more days to go! at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com

Prepping for pigskin

Football season is almost upon us. Unfortunately, this has been the summer of Favre and all that entails. I always liked Brett Favre until this latest incident. I, personally, think he's being a bit of a diva. Every year it's the same thing. Is he going to retire/is he going to play? I don't blame Green Bay for not wanting to sit on the fence waiting for him to make his decision; they've been doing that for the last few years and every year when he decides he's going to play one more year they take him with open arms and everyone's happy. This year, Brett was the one who announced that he was retiring. He even did the paperwork. So when he decides to unretire, after a remarkable four months (or less) of retirement, he's surprised when Green Bay isn't so welcoming. I can't imagine why. Look dude, you were the one who cried at the press conference about quitting the sport. Not that I blame you considering all the blood, sweat and tears that went into your football career, but you can't expect your old team to keep a candle burning for you on the in case that you change your mind again.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm being a bit heartless, but I feel for Aaron Rodgers. The kid finally gets his shot and then Brett upstages him again. What's up with that? Give it up Brett. You don't want your legacy tarnished with this whole mess.

And let's move on peeps. I tried watching the NFL Network last night but I'd say 90% of all the stories and coverage were about Brett Favre. Glad to know there aren't any other teams or players in the NFL right now. Of an hour-long show, maybe ten minutes were not devoted to Favre-Watch! At this point, I'd be happy to hear more about Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson.

Flea flicker! at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Watch the movie or read the book?

I love movies. Let me preface that now. I love movies. Crappy movies, horror movies, comedies, they're all great. I do have issue with movies/TV shows that are based on/adapted from books. And don't get me started on the "Oscar-winning films."

If you saw The Scarlet Letter, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I had to read that book in junior high (what an initiation into adultery and clandestine affairs with clergy members) and I don't recall half of what happened in the movie happening in the book. Might have made the book a little easier to read, if I must be honest. Now to be fair, it does say in the beginning credits, "Loosely adapted from." (At least that's what I recall, only saw the movie once and that's saying something from the person that saw Top Gun so many times, I could basically recite the entire movie from beginning to end.) Don't even get me started on the Stephen King books being turned into movies. Love the books, hate the movies.

This is my dilemna, I'll see a movie and find out there's a book and I'll want to read it. Why? I don't know, I just saw the movie which probably contains all the good parts of the book; one would think I would save my money right? Well, I'm a book junkie too. Not literary greats, usually horror or trashy romance novels. I know, I'm cultured. But I've heard nothing but hype about the new Twilight books and the movie coming out. So of course, I just rushed to my nearest book retailer and bought not one but two of the books from the series. Yeah, I'm not bothering to check to see if the first one sucks, I committed myself to two of them. I'm so fiscally responsible right?

On top of that, I'm in the middle of Generation Kill. The book and the mini-series. Yeah, I watch the show and then try reading the book. I'm almost caught up in the book to the point where the series is. Makes sense, I know. Well, I have to say it's because I love the series. The storyline is pretty compelling and, as a former military member, I can relate to some of the situations that the guys encounter (not the combat ones, of course, but others such as crazy, incompetent leaders, military decisions that seem to make no sense, and the love of the ol' MRE to name a few). Plus, most of the guys are pretty hot. Just a bonus.

So I guess this brings me to my point: do you read the book or watch the movie? If you do both, which comes first? Don't think it's quite up there with the chicken or the egg quandry but I think it comes close.

Alexander Skarsgard is hot at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

This is why I don't ride the bus

I've never been a big bus fan. Though I've never ridden a Greyhound bus, I've heard stories of people on a 300 mile trip that, on a Greyhound bus, took 5 days. Yeah, sounds like the way you want to see America right? Hope you have a couple of years to get from New York to Los Angeles. Well, if that wasn't enough of a deterrent to riding on the lightspeed express, this may be. Did you see this sh*#?!? I'm sure the poor guy was thinking that would happen when he bought his cheap ticket to visit grandma or whatever. This is just another example of how you never know when you'll encounter some psychopath, or end up sitting next to him on the bus.

Yikes!!! at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Last Lecture

Not many of us think about dying (at least I don't). Okay so I've had a few moments of "What if..." especially when considering the question of adequate life insurance. However, not many of us know when it will happen, or have a general ballpark for reference. Randy Pausch did. He was diagnosed with incurable pancreatic cancer and instead of wallowing in self-pity, he managed to inspire so many others with his upbeat attitude toward it.

Honestly, I didn't know of this man until I saw the article on CNN.com. I was intrigued by it and watched the lecture on YouTube. This is the kind of person I would like to be should the circumstances be similar. He is well-liked and very personable with a good sense of humor and engaging personality. I wish my college professors were this great. More so than the delivery system of his lecture is the message behind it. He celebrates his life and all the dreams that he was able to accomplish. He is no way in denial, purposely bringing up the "elephant in the room" but doesn't focus on that, he doesn't want to leave a lasting legacy, etc. He just points out what he wanted to accomplish as a kid and how he went about doing so managing to live all his childhood dreams with the exception of one: playing in the NFL and I don't think we can be disappointed with that.

More often than not I get caught up in stupid, superficial crap and when I watched this lecture I realized that there is so much more to life than that. I hope that my kids are able to look at me when I come to the end of the road and be as proud as I'm sure his kids are of him.

Say it ain't so!

Remember this post? Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought this. Losing your temper once or twice and showing it physically is okay. Every time you don't do well, it starts to look like you have personal issues. I, personally, am glad that Duno stood up for herself. I think it threw Danica for a loop that the person she confronted didn't back down. Good for you Duno!!! I haven't watched the video of "the fight" but from what I hear Danica looks incredulously at others when Duno throws a towel at her, kind of one of those, "Can you believe she just did that?" looks. I don't know what she expected. When you act like you're ready to throw down, you best be ready for a return hit. Not that I think it would ever get to that point. Something tells me that if it did come to blows (not that I'm advocating it), Danica would be crying like a baby about how she was mistreated and accosted unfairly. Just a theory.

The sad part is I didn't watch this race. How many people did? Does anyone even know who won the race? Probably not which is super sad. I understand that any publicity is good publicity but those other drivers, you know the ones who actually win, must be getting a little peeved that they get less press for winning major races than Danica does for fighting during one. Yikes. Thus is the state of the media today. Because people like me can't look away from train wrecks when we see them.

I know I need help at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

The Dark Knight Cometh

So my dear husband kicked me out of the house yesterday so I could have some "me" time. He's good like that. How did I spend my kid-free hours? At the movie theater with about fifteen bazillion other people that wanted to see the new Batman movie. The movie itself was pretty okay. Gotta say that Heath Ledger does, or did (God rest him), a good psychotic madman and Christian Bale, aka the man of the moment (there was a preview of the next Terminator movie starring himself during the Batman movie), is always cool. I'd say he rivals James Bond on the coolness of gadgets and Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman just make the movie. I have come to realize, however, that the movie experience itself is more meh.

My local theater has the nifty rocking theater seating which is always a plus. This was a brand new movie so it was shown in one of the big theaters (unlike the movies I usually see relegated to the movie theater boon docks, you know the ones that have a whopping five seats and a screen only slightly larger than my television at home. I know, why bother?) and I got there early and had my choice of seats. I personally like the ones behind the little fence thingy as I can rest my feet on it and not bother anyone. So I sat there in all the air-conditioned luxury waiting for the movie to start. A number of people began to stream in as it got closer to the showing time and seats started to fill up. Keep in mind that there were plenty of empty seats not near me that people could sit in. Lo and behold, some lady decides she needs to sit by me, as in the seat right next to mine. I have this personal space thing. If it's unavoidable, fine take the available seat, but there were plenty of other seats (some right down the row from me) and this lady decides she needs to sit next to me and hog all the armrest. Yeah, I will battle for armrest supremecy. So the movie hasn't even started and I'm already not in a good place. So I moved my drink (yeah it was sitting in the armrest next to the personal space invader) and try to get comfortable as I was not moving. I was there first damn it! The movie starts and this lady brings out the big guns. She has the supersized mondo bucket of popcorn and she's chomping away on it. No biggie as I have been known to mow down on some good popcorn (that day's corn was not that good in my opinion.) but then she busts out the candy bags that apparently refuse to open. So I get to listen to this lady try for what must have been 20 minutes to open her Skittles. You know the noise, plastic crunching, candy rattling. Oy vey! I was about to offer to open it for her if she would just shut up. My boss agrees with me as he can't stand to deal with people eating at the movie theater but he's a whole other issue.

Am I being unreasonable to think I should be able to watch a movie in peace and quiet and not listen to the candy monster next to me or grandma and grandpa discussing the juxtaposition of good and evil in the row behind me? Movies ain't cheap and I'd like to listen to it and not everyone else in the theater. Maybe I need anger management courses.

Why so serious at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Black Gold, Texas Tea

Well folks, it is now time for what has become a daily rant about the price of oil, gas and everything associated with the two aforementioned products. Yesterday the price of oil actually fell to roughly $132 a barrel, and they called that a sharp decline. It hinged on the news that China would be lifting its subsidies for gas, or oil, or whatever it is they subsidize (look ma, I used the word subsidize). Good for us, right? No, because today oil rebounded because all those bastards, I'm sorry, investors, saw this as a good opportunity to buy. Yeah thanks a lot guys. You suck! What I don't understand is that they see how this is affecting the global economy and they don't sit back and think, "well, maybe we should pause in trying to get the price of oil up." Why, because they're greedy and looking to make a buck. You know it's bad when even Saudi Arabia is thinking the price of oil is too high. I hope the price of oil tanks and all you investors lose your shirts.

Not that I'm bitter at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Why can't we all get along?

I like to read the news on the internet. Depressing, I know, but hey, it's better than watching the local or national anchors tell me what's going on. So I'm reading away and come across this story about a kid in Indiana that wanted "instant recognition" by setting a massacre record. I'm not sure which is scarier, the fact that this is an option to so many teenagers or that they feel that's the only way to make themselves feel better. I remember high school as being eh. I had my set of friends and seemed to be in one of those non-cliques that seemed to get along okay with almost everyone. I knew of some people that got picked on by the "popular" kids and always felt bad for them. I think the "popular" kids had serious issues, but that's a whole other story. I don't think that coming to school with weapons and killing kids was ever an option. I don't know, maybe I'm overly naive. But ever since Columbine and the media frenzy that followed, more and more stories are reported about children wanting to copy this. Maybe the media shouldn't glorify it; maybe if the media hadn't spent so much time reporting it wouldn't give the troubled kids ideas about making their mark on the world, or having that "I'll show them" mentality. I often wonder how screwed up these kids are to want to do this. Are they not getting what they need at home? Are they just mentally ill? Are the kids just part of this generation that is all about "me" and have finally decided that since they don't get what they want, they'll share their pain? I'm confused about the state of our youth. Whether it's a mental thing (we seem to have more mental problems than ever before, just watch all the depression, bipolar and other prescription medicine commercials) or not taking responsibility for our actions, something needs to be done. Yikes.

Random thoughts

I've come to realize that I am not a good communicator with people that are not in my general area. Case in point, my best friend since first grade and I have managed to stay in touch through the glorious invention of email. Should it have come to snail mail and me actually getting off my fat butt to mail something we probably would have lost touch long ago. Technology is grand isn't it? Especially for people like me.

I don't do it intentionally, I really don't. But I find myself trying to write to people but not following through with the actually sending of letters, postcards, cards, etc. I enjoy the interaction with people in other areas (I was a decent pen pal back in my elementary and junior high days), but as I get older, the less motivated I seem to be. I know, terrible right? I only bring this up as I got a message on MySpace from a friend that I haven't seen in roughly 7+ years (an old buddy from the military days). If not for this kind of site, would I be able to track anybody from the past down? Probably not. God bless the internet. :)

On another note, I've been trying some candy coated, chocolate covered sunflower seeds. Yeah, like if there was any nutritional value to the sunflower seeds, that went out the window with the chocolate and candy. Anyhoo, they looked interesting and thought I'd try them. They have the quaint moniker of "Flamingo Poop" as we are in Mickey Mouse Land South and everything has to have a draw to it. Jury's still out on if I like them or not.

Hope everyone had a nice Memorial Day. I happen to love the fact that I can sleep in on a Monday. All kidding aside, hope all our guys and gals in Iraq and Afghanistan remain as safe as they can be. I feel for them and their families. I'm not a war supporter, but I am a troop supporter. And what's up with the people that say if you're against the war you're against the troops? Why can't they differentiate between not agreeing with the war but still supporting the military veterans? Just asking.

Sorry for the various ramblings, I think my coffee's kicking in or maybe I need some more to balance me out.

Well, back to the grind at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Back to Indy

I am not a big race fan, let me state that right now. I don't really get the fascination of watching cars go around and around a track. Formula One, I can kinda see the draw driving through city streets, the track always changning, but not so much with IRL and NASCAR (I'm sure there are plenty of people hating me now for saying that). I did, however, watch the last portion of the Indy 500 today. Why? Mainly because there was absolutely nothing else on television. I have come to the realization that the IRL is watched, in large part, by people waiting to see what Danica Patrick will do. Will she win? Will she lose? Will she throw a fit that rivals any five year-old's? The answer would be no, yes, and most definitely!

I'm sure she is a very nice person, and she is a pretty woman, but man, what a whiner! I think she's her own worst enemy when it comes to the press about her fits. Have you seen some of the tantrums she's thrown? I especially liked the one where she went stomping down the track like a petulant toddler that was told she can't have a cookie. Great move both for racing and feminists everywhere.

There have been plenty of arguments that the fact that she is embracing her "sexy" side to promote herself is horrible. I don't really think it's all that bad. Unfortunately, sex sells and it sells well if you have a pretty face and a good body. It's got her name in the public eye, whether it's on television, radio, the internet, etc. In fact, she got more press and air time than any other driver for the portion of the race that I watched, and she didn't even finish the race. I think they spoke more about her than the actual winner, Scott Dixon. That has to be a bit annoying to the other racers, but guess it's the way things go.

My one issue with her is that she'll throw a fit, act like she's going to throw down with a guy twice her size and gets away with it. Just once I'd like to see a guy smack her and see if she tries it again. This will, of course, never happen. I'm not advocating violence against women but if she instigates a slapping, she better be willing to accept the consequences. That's all I'm saying. Look at poor Dan Wheldon when she shoved him at that other race last year (I think it was last year). She shoved him, yelled in his face, and what could he do? Nothing. If he shoved back, he'd be a bully. If he yelled back, he'd be a jerk for yelling at little Danica. Since he did nothing, they made comments like she could kick his ass, and she was tougher than him. It's a no win situation for these guys. Not cool. Miss Patrick, get over yourself and run the race. Crap happens and if you continue to blame everything bad that happens on other people, you'll lose support faster than it takes to win the pole.

On another note, what's up with the milk? I get it's tradition, but it's gotta be way hot and milk when it's hot, not so good. Like the announcers said, it's going to stink very quickly as they're spraying the milk. Yuck. I'm surprised they don't have a sponsorship on the milk bottle. They're everywhere else, why not the dairy council selling real estate on the glass bottle? I think we could totally market that.

Got milk? at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Work Out is my new guilty pleasure of the moment. I don't know why. Maybe it's all the good looking people not wearing a great many clothes. Maybe it's the drama they create amongst themselves. Either way, totally digging it. I know, I need help. You would think watching a show about trainers in a gym would motivate me to get off my big fat butt and do some exercises but it hasn't. Figures.

Also watched Alien vs. Predator Requiem. Yeah, I figured it would be crap before I watched it and was not disappointed. Despite the fact that I enjoyed the first AVP, the second was just a little too much to swallow. Way too predictable, acting wasn't too good and the special effects were eh. If anyone can recommend any new releases, or coming soon to DVD, I'm all ears.

Yeah, boring at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com

They're baaaaaacccckkk!

So everyone knows of my probably somewhat unhealthy obsession with American Gladiators by now. Much like a train wreck, or stories about Britney Spears, I am unable to turn away from the over-the-top cheesiness dressed in bits of spandex. I don't know why, I think there must be a mutated chormosome in me or something, but I really like watching this stupid show. It is back for another season and I am a-watchin'.

They're seeming to up the ante this go-around with a harder Eliminator, new events and, oh boy, new Gladiators. Yippee. Well, the winners from last season became new Gladiators which totally works for the female winner. She was pretty well ripped when she won so it wasn't much of a stretch for her to don the spandex and get a cheesy moniker. For the guy winner, not so much. While I applaud the fact that the dude totally kicked butt during the season, let's just say he doesn't cut the most intimidating figure in AG. All the gladiators are between 6'2" and 6'8" and weigh well over 200 lbs. New dude? 5'10" and 160 lbs. Don't get me wrong, he looks pretty ripped, but definitely not a big dude. Guess that will come in handy during the wall and other such events where speed and dexterity are key. Guess the contenders should watch out for that. :)

To all the moms...thank you.

Happy Mother's Day belatedly. I hope this post finds one and all happy after a nice Mother's Day. I personally spent part of the day with my mom, aunt, sister-in-law, and cousin who are all in the club. Yeah us. I have to reiterate that I find it more meaningful to spend time with loved ones when a holiday doesn't dictate said behavior. While I love the fact that everyone celebrates Mother's Day, it seems to become as commercialized as Easter, Valentine's Day, etc. We haven't got to Christmas proportions yet but I could see it happening. We're bombarded with ads for flowers, chocolates, cards, trips, and everything under the sun to celebrate all Mom has done for us. While great, it feels like if you don't spend a lot of money on your mom, you're just an ungrateful kid. Am I wrong? I think it's nicer to ask my mom to go to lunch out of the blue, or to offer up a bouquet when the mood strikes. This could be said about many other holidays such as Valentines. Get me something when I don't expect it. Much more thoughtful. :) Besides, elbow macaroni pictures were the height of all Mother's Day gifts when we were little. Let's get back to that.

I'll get the glue and glitter at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Pain in the pump

We all know that gas prices are now astronomically high. We've seen it at every gas station and now feel the effects even if we don't drive in the price of pretty much everything from a gallon of milk to a bunch of bananas. Unfortunately, we're being told this is only the beginning. Price of gas is roughly $3.65 to $4.00 around the country and it's not even the official summer "driving season" when gas prices normally jump anyway. The price of a barrel of oil is $120-something depending on the time of day you check and they're forecasting it to go up to $180 or higher. You can imagine how much gas will be then.

Oy people! I know that we are a country that love our vehicles from the economical subcompact (which I should have bought) to the gas-guzzling super SUV (which unfortunately I own) we have a hard time not driving. Is it because we don't want to give up the freedom they provide? Maybe. More likely, if you don't live in a large metropolitan area that has a well-established public transportation system, ie. New York City, Chicago, then you don't have a whole lot of options on how to get to work, the grocery store, school, etc. I hear everyday these people toting the argument that it's the people driving the SUVs and trucks that are the problem. "Buy a smaller car!" is the solution. Well, some of us can't afford to just up and buy a new car, and unfortunately, not many of us live withing walking and/or biking distance from work otherwise that would be an option as well. Some people say, "Move closer to work." How many people can just uproot and move x amount of miles? Not too many I think.

I know we are a country of "it's not my fault" and "blame these guys" when it comes to our problems, but I think we have a legitimate gripe here when the oil companies continue to report record setting profits. They are getting this money from you and me. I say we need to do something about it. Don't know what since most politicians seem to be in bed with said oil companies and are not about to jeopardize their campaign funds to stand up for what is right for the people they're supposed to be representing. Even the threat of drilling domestically would send a shockwave through OPEC. I say we need to become independent of foreign oil, then of oil altogether. We all know it's not going to last. We need to find alternative methods of energy and we need them now! If our parents/grandparents were the ones going to the moon when no one said it could be done, why can't we free ourselves of this serious ball and chain?

I say look at wind farms, solar power, we have plenty of both! We're shooting ourselves in the foot I think. I read once that they wanted to start a wind farm off Cape Cod (or somewhere in that area) since there is so much wind available. It was shot down because one of the Kennedys didn't want to see windmills when he was sailing. Nice huh? I'm glad to see that the wants of few outweigh the needs of millions. We need to start thinking outside the box. If you want to erect a windmill in my backyard, go for it. Solar panels on my house, I'd totally do it if I could afford it. Bring on the energy!

Updates

It's been a while since I last posted. Shocking I know. What has happened in the last month or so since the last post? Not too much I must say. Gas prices went up, the dollar's value went down, we as a country are further in debt, and I as a person am further in debt, the war is still raging in Iraq and Afghanistan (or at least we think so since the media really doesn't cover activity in Afghanistan too much any more), crooked politicians in Washington, other politicians trying to get into Washington. Did I miss anything? Probably not. Same stuff, different day.

I know I'm way too cynical. I blame the faltering economy. Why not? Everyone else is.

Anyhoo, onto more entertaining items.

I have found my new guilty pleasure of the moment. It's that show Work Out on Bravo. I know, it's like a soap opera set in a gym and yet I can't look away. Who is going to be sleeping with the gym owner, Jackie? Which trainers are going to hook up before the season ends? Will Peeler stay at the gym or will he get himself fired? These are questions that I must have answered and the only way to do so is to tune in. I know, I have issues, but I love this show. My favorite character? Jesse. He's too cute and has a great personality. He just seems like he'd be a blast to hang out with and dish gossip. They also have new trainers to include the guy from those Bowflex commercials. Yeah, like I totally believe he got a body like that from a Bowflex. Whatever. So they're only like 3 episodes into the season and they've already gone on a lesbian cruise, rumors are swirling that Renessa hooked up with Jackie, the tension is brewing in the gym over a Doug tribute (very sad about that), and, oh yeah, they have new clients to work with. Stay tuned. I will be.

I need a life at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Really?

Okay, so I wrote on this lady last year. We read about how she totally freaked, threw her phone and started screaming at the airport, thus earning her a trip to a holding cell for a major timeout. Not to mention the whole, "I'm not a terrorist" thing which totally keys off police in an airport. Well, this is the end result. I'm not saying it's not tragic that she ended up dying, but I don't see how this even became a case to be heard by a judge. All parties involved admit to following procedure and her husband even said that she was unbalanced. I don't understand how they think they should be compensated because his mentally whacked wife didn't follow the normal protocol, ended up arrested and then hanged herself. How is this the city of Phoenix or their police department's fault? It's not. If you want to point the blame at someone, maybe you should look in the mirror. Harsh? Maybe, but as I stated before, if you knew a loved one was "unbalanced" and needing to check into a rehab facility for an alcohol problem, don't you think you would accompany them instead of sending her by herself? Maybe it's just me. Maybe I've become too callous, but somehow I don't see how the taxpayers of Arizona should be forced to pay out $8 million to their family for doing the right thing. Personal responsibility people. That's all I'm saying.

Bring on the hatemail at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com

Another example of the great youth of America

I feel the need to comment on the New York governor's call girl scandal. My thing is, besides being totally illegal in every state except the great state of Nevada, this is just rather horendous to think of. He was married with kids, and paid a hooker (doesn't matter how much you get paid when you do the deed, that's what you are) to have sex with him. Is this girl being villified for her acts? Nope, the media is talking about book, movie and record deals for her. I'm not saying that Spitzer isn't totally guilty of solicitation and adultry, but he's being crucified while it seems that "Kristen" is being rewarded for said behavior. Wrong? Yeah, I'd say so.

Look, I know that women seem to always get the bad rap on these types of deals but in this case, I'd say it's deserved. Is this the message you want to send the young girls around the world? Don't worry about going to college Suzie, just get yourself hired as a high-price call girl, make the right connections (no pun intended there) and you can be an insta-star. I say she should go to jail for solicitation and prostitution (are they the same thing? I'm not up on my felonies.). She certainly shouldn't be given money for her "story", or a record deal since that's what she came to New York for (all the way from Jersey folks, that's quite the haul), and talks of movies, etc. The only thing that seems fitting is the centerfold for Hustler or Penthouse. Maybe it's just me. I loved Pretty Woman as much as the next person, but the idea of a hooker lucking out and making it big and it actually happening are vastly different.

Which brings up another point in my book. How come the average Jane working the corner is picked up and booked for solicitation but this girl who has admittedly done the deed is not? Is it because she just has a much more expensive corner to work? Is it because she dresses nice and doesn't look like she's carrying fifteen bazillion diseases? Why is it a double standard? Last time I checked prostitution was still illegal in NY (not that I check mind you) so I say book her, send her to the local jail for a while and she probably won't be popular anymore. Say bye to the deals.

I swear I'm not bitter at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Another set of Rhodes scholars

I've come to realize that we really are a society of self-centered, egotistical people. I try not to be but, hey, sometimes it just happens. I'd like to believe that I was raised right by my parents and observe the Golden Rule. For those not in the know, this means treating others as you wish to be treated. Plus, I think karma can turn around and bite you in the butt when you're least expecting it, so do people right. Open doors for people, maybe let someone ahead of you in the grocery line when you have 55 items and they only have two, offer a seat on a bus or subway to an older person. Why this sudden introspective approach? Well, folks, gather around and I'll regale you with the tale of two girls who cried "discrimination".

I'm sure you have heard about these two brainiacs on a Southwest Airlines flight from Tampa to Los Angeles. They didn't get their way after throwing fits (according to other witnesses), and were detained by police when they arrived in sunny L.A. They cried discrimination for the manner in which they were treated. Was it because of their race, gender, ethnicity, religious affliation? Nope, because they were "too pretty" (their words, not mine). After running this story for all to read and see, the general consensus is that these girls have issues and that their parents were apparently sorely lacking in the discpline department. Others have hypothesized that it was all an act to get their 15 minutes of fame ever since this other Mensa candidate got her face plastered on every media outlet in the country. I'm not saying these girls were ugly, but I don't think they were beautiful enough to support their claims that they were so pretty that others were moved to jealous attacks. As the one girl claimed, "we were the only people on the plane that looked like us." What exactly does that mean? That you didn't have identical twins travelling with you? Are you deluded enough to believe that no one on that plane looked as young, dressed as well (purely in their own minds), or were as pretty (subjective) as you?

If I were one of these girls acting as they did on the plane, my parents would have beat my ass all the way back from LA to Tampa. They certainly wouldn't have allowed me to get on national television and cry and whine about how I didn't get what I wanted, when I wanted, and claim discrimination. I blame the media for this. If I were at the news station and heard this story, I certainly wouldn't have sent people to cover it, let alone sensationalize it into what it's become. Wake up people! These kids have a sense of self-entitlement because their parents let them believe it to be so. Take this lady for example. (Just FYI, she cried discrimination too. Guess it's the "buzzword" nowadays when you don't like the outcome to a situation.) Don't call me when the kid goes nuts because you finally told him no and he kills your whole family (not kidding here, seems to be happening more and more often). If the parents don't follow the rules, how can you expect their kids to follow them.

I see plenty of people nowadays not disciplining their kids. I'm not talking about beating them or even spanking them. I'm talking about telling them no, and that they're not always going to get their way. It's not the end of the world and they're going to have to deal with it eventually. It's a fact of life and the sooner kids know about it, and learn to deal with it in their own way, the better the world will be. We have become a society all about the "me, me, me." Our kids have been raised so that they expect to win everytime and that they are entitled to everything they want. We need to change this right now, or weep for the future. These could be your future leaders. Scary, huh?

Please use your "inside" voice at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

So it's been a while since I've last posted. I know, the horror right? Not so much. What has happened since the last post? Well, there was the whole McCain/Lobbyist scandal, the Oscars, the dismantling of the North Korean nuclear weapons plant and, most important of all, Britney getting to see her boys. Yeah, that's what's in the news today. Yippee. And they wonder why our society seems a bit warped. Glad to see we all have our priorities in order.

I feel the need to comment on the North Korean allowing the US to bring people over to oversee the dismantling of a plant that apparently had the capability of building nuclear weapons. Yep, the axis of evil is a little bit smaller. Go figure. They've shown pictures of said plant and let's just say they were not awe-inspiring. Like much of the country of North Korea, it looks a bit poor and dilapidated. Of course this is the country that has many starving people because they funnel all their money into their military. If only they could use their powers for good...

On to the Oscars. Did anyone watch this? Just wondering. I did not. I figured why stay up late for all the good awards when you can just read about them the next day. Plus why do I want to watch people who earn way too much money talk about getting even more money as they wear dresses and jewelry that they don't have to pay for, receive goody bags that are worth more than I make in a couple of years, and attend parties that free for them. I sound a bit bitter don't I?

Let's see, what's next. Ah yes, Sen. McCain. Okay, so the New York Times ran a story about Sen. McCain having an "inappropriate" relationship with a younger (much younger!) lobbyist for a telecommunications company that had business with a board of commerce which he was head of (think I got all that right, if not, check it out on any of the news sites. They always have the juicy details.) Why is anyone surprised by this? He's running for President. The stories come out of the woodwork when you're running for president. If you ever did anything wrong ever in your life, the media will find it and run it 20 times a day because it will be well-read news. Ratings people, ratings!!!

On a positive note, there was a story that Jamie-Lynne Spears, aka the trainwreck's little sister, got her GED. Good for her. At least she's finished high school, sorta, and is planning on going to college. Once again, good for her. At least she's trying to turn her teen pregnancy into a positive thing. Not that being a pregnant teen is the end of the world (wouldn't know it by the media's take on it) but the fact that it shows that a celebrity can take something that many teens are facing and make it a positive and not let it slow down her choices is good. Glad something positive came out of the Spears' camp. Guess after the Britney debacle, anything has to look good right?

Enough of my soap box grandstanding. Depressing news can be found anywhere. I say look to the positive and eliminate the negative. :) It has to be all up from here right?

Another Sad Day

I'm sure your have heard and/or read about the tragedy that has befelled Northern Illinois University. Once again a former student has taken the lives of innocent people before turning the weapon on himself. Conjuring images of VT and the tragedy they endured, this happened again in a classroom full of students. The one place on campus that a person should feel safe. My question is why do these disturbed people feel the need to snuff out others' lives before taking their own? Is it to make a statement? Is it to validate their existence? Whatever the answer is, this pattern needs to stop. Maybe if the media stopped covering these tragedies with such fervor, we wouldn't be so focused on them and there would be fewer incidences of tragedies such as this. Maybe I'm wrong in my analysis, but it would nice to see if it would make a difference.

Prayers for all the NIU students at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Political Hooey

So I thought I'd weigh in on the whole political mess that's going on now (not that I think anyone actually cares what I think). First we have the presidential hopefuls vieing for our attention and votes. May I ask why we think this will matter? Does anyone actually think that the new president, whoever he or she may be, will be able to fix the mess that is our country? Just wondering. I, unfortunately, have become rather cynical when it comes to the political race. Number one, even if we vote for the person we want in office, there is no guarantee that this person will actually win (remember Al Gore / George W. Bush 2000?) Just because the person gets the popular vote does not mean that he/she will be president. Isn't that the whole point of an election? If the American people say we want candidate A in office by voting for that person (more than 50% of the popular vote), then that person should be in office. Screw this whole electoral college thing. Let the electoral vote count for exactly how many people they are. If a state has 2 electoral votes, let there be two votes for whoever they want to vote for. It should not be the determining factor on who is in the oval office. Maybe that's just me, but I've gotten to the point where I say, "Screw it, why vote since it doesn't matter anyway." Not a good attitude, I know.

Secondly, our economy is in the toilet, so we've been told. So Congress wants to distribute checks to everyone who paid taxes so it can stimulate the economy. Maybe I'm no economic genius but I think that if we have no money (thanks Iraq) should we be issuing out more money we don't have? This kinda ties into the previous rant (see paragraph above) on how this is going to be fixed. Currently, Canada's dollar is worth more than ours. Yeah, didn't think that was ever going to happen. What's next, pesos worth more than our dollar too? Nobody wants to hear that taxes are going up but if they don't how are we going to pay for money we already spent? Just wondering. No matter who gets into office, they're doomed from the start because if they do anything to try to fix the mess that ol' W got us into, they going to be criticized. Guess it's the nature of the beast.

Is it me?

Am I the only one drawing some sort of correlation between the skyrocketing cost of gas and the record profits that continue to be reported by Exxon? I'm not an economics genius but it seems to me that if a company reports $11,000,000,000.00 in profits, in profits!!!!, and our gas is so high, there may be a connection. I find it ironic that during the GOP debates (I believe it was New Hampshire) that when asked if there should be some kind of action taken against oil companies such as Exxon when they report such exorbitant amounts of profits and the people of America are being crunched with amazingly high fuel prices, that Fred Thompson said no. Gee why do you think that is? I think it's because way too many people up in Washington D.C. get their palms greased with Big Oil money to keep things status quo. I know that we as Americans are also to blame buying the big gas-guzzling vehicles that we do, but you would think as the politicians keep harping about how we need to stimulate the economy they would first start looking at cutting back on these corporate profits, or have them pay more in taxes, thus helping the American people out either by lowering their prices or by helping to replenish the government coffers that have nothing but cobwebs and IOUs in them. But maybe it's just me.



Thanks Exxon, Chevron and Conoco at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

State of the Onion

I am not a political genius, I will readily admit this. I barely passed political science in college and it was probably because I was barely interested in the subject matter. It was required, otherwise I would not have taken the course. This being said, I watch The President's speeches with half an ear. Why? Well, I didn't vote for him. Not that I really voted for the other guy, I was more voting against W. I digress.

Last night was the State of the Union address, or as my husband said, State of the Onion. I wasn't going to watch it because I'd much rather watch a cooking show or a reality television show than listen to the leader of the free world spew crap for 45 minutes or so. My husband, good citizen that he is, wanted to watch it so we did. Boy, I was not disappointed. His whole speech was probably about 15 minutes long but with everyone having to clap and stand up after every other sentence it stretched to 45 minutes (this is after the 15 minutes it took to have him walk in, shake hands, sign autographs, yes I said sign autographs, and then have everyone clap, stand up and clap some more). I couldn't help but think that most of the Democrats in that room, you know, the ones who weren't standing and clapping everytime he said "the", were muttering under their breath, "Man, he's such a schmuck." Maybe it's me. I find it hard to place my faith in a president that hasn't done a whole bunch positive in the two terms he served but wants to change the world in the less than a year he has left. Call me pessimistic, but I just don't think it's going to happen. What I got out of his speech was this, the rich will get richer, the poor might get a little more help, and those of us who might be middle class are SOL. Maybe I'm wrong.

He talked about military members and families making more money. I'm down with that as a former military member I know exactly how much military families don't make. He wants government to be accountable and balance the budget. Gee, ya think? He wants no more tax increases. I don't want to pay more taxes as much as the next guy, but if we want stuff fixed, the money has to come from somewhere. Realistically speaking, it'll probably have to come from taxes. I say tax all the super-wealthy people that are barely paying any taxes to begin with due to loopholes and whatnot. I read in an article that people like Warren Buffet, a.k.a. super rich guy, pay income tax on about 0.5% of their income while regular joes, like myself, pay income tax on 100% of our income. Am I the only one seeing something wrong with this? He wants the rebates for tax payers to go out and stimulate the economy. Where's the money coming from? Last I heard, we're up to our eyeballs in debt, the dollar ain't worth squat, and most of the products we buy are imported. Gee, think we need to fix all that stuff first? Once again, maybe it's just me.

Thank you and God Bless America at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com

So it starts

I am a person that has a hobby du jour. Yep, I'll be all into one thing until something else catches my eye. I think I have extracurricular ADD. I was into knitting until I got some scrapbooking stuff. Which I was into until I got some other things, and so on, and so on. Well, today it's cupcake making. Yep, I decided to make cupcakes for my youngest's birthday party which is in two days. I tried a recipe test (thankfully) before the big day to see if they were at least edible. They turned out eh. The kids were kind at least saying they were "okay." I think this means rather gross but at least I taught them well and they spared my feelings. Why this sudden obsession with cupcakes? I blame this lady for making me think I could actually do this. I do have the backup plan, a.k.a. Duncan Hines, in the pantry in case I totally screw this up. I must say that the cake part turned out okay but the ganache was a bit much. I think too much dark chocolate is a bad thing. Think I'll go for semi-sweet for the actual event. We'll see. I've even thought about trying for marzipan decorations. Maybe something like this. Too ambitious? Nah. If you happen to see a mushroom cloud rising over southwest Florida, it's probably me trying to make more cupcakes.

It's not burnt, it's blackened at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

I want to be a Biggest Loser!

I have become addicted to The Biggest Loser on NBC. Why you ask? Probably because my fat ass needs to lose like 50 lbs. and it's nice to see people actually able to do so in like 3 weeks time. I guess if I worked out 4 hours a day and only ate Jennie-O turkey and Nabisco 100 Calorie Packs (shameless plug, much like on the show) I would lose a ton of weight too. My question to the contestants is if you've seen this show at all, you know by past winners that the winner almost always loses like 50% of his body weight (yep, always a guy winning the big prize). Well, if you go in weighing like 190, you're likely to not lose 50% of your body weight because then you'd look like a concentration camp refugee. It just ain't going to happen. Maybe I'm wrong on this.

This season it's a couples thing. Could be interesting since you not only have to lose weight to stay in the game, but your partner has to lose weight too. Should make for interesting bonding sessions during the show. I foresee a beatdown when someone catches their partner scarfing down a cupcake.

I am on my own personal crusade to lose said 50 lbs. I have started the Weight Watchers Points program which is livable since you can still eat normal stuff and even splurge on things occasionally. I have so far lost like 9 lbs. which is always cool. Eventually I won't feel like a total slug in a tank top.

Don't eat that, it's like 25 points! at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

P.S. As I predicted in a previous post regarding the risk of wardrobe malfunction on the new American Gladiators, it happened. On Monday night during the pyramid event, one of the ladies got yanked down by the scrap of spandex that was covering her girls. And the ladies flew out. Thankfully, she had on the necessary undergarments though don't know how they market that to people who wear spandex for 8 hours of the day. Needless to say, they didn't show that gladiator again during that event. Wonder what happens if one of the guys' shorts/skirts get pulled down. Could make for interesting television. Janet ain't got nothing on these peeps.

Another useless nut!

I write this post a bit sleepily as I stayed up until midnight to watch LSU kick the crap out of Ohio State. Yep, The Ohio State University (in all capitals which is very important and pretentious). I would almost feel bad for the OSU fans as this is almost exactly what happened last year to them, but hey, it's Ohio State and, thus, they deserve it. It was awesome watching the guys in purple and gold shut down the OSU offense and defense and make all those obnoxious OSU fans cry. Does that make me a bad person? As a tried and true Michigan Wolverines fan I have to say, "Yeah! You might have beat us but at least we've beat a SEC team in two different bowl games!" Which team you ask? The one that kicked the crap out of OSU last year. Dot that "i" OHIO!

There will be, undoubtedly, debates on who is the official national champion. I don't know why; the game was played last night, LSU won, 'nuff said. Unfortunately, Pete Carroll, of USC (the team that got beat by the Tree) said he might petition to have a shared national championship. Why? Because he's a sore loser. I'd rather see Georgia share the championship if they're going to go that route. Why is it that USC needs to be in the picture all the time. Your 15 minutes of fame are up. Go home!

Geaux Tigers!!!! at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Bring on the spandex and steroids

I'm a total nerd. I know this, and have in fact embraced this facet of my personality. With regards to this, I am not ashamed to admit that I have been looking forward to the return of American Gladiators. I am a child of the 80s-90s (though I was in high school in the early 90s so I think I'm pushing that statement) so I remember the cheesiness that was the original AG. Muscle-bound men and women (some of the women looking more manly than the men) duking it out with everyday joes off the street for money and fame, well as much fame as you can get from being on AG. It's been advertised for a few months now that the new AG was coming complete with Hulk Hogan as the host. Hulk Hogan! As in Hulkamania! Yeah. Guess I should have known this was doomed from the start.

Anyhoo, it's premiere episode was on last night and of course I watched as I am a television addict. I didn't think that the old AG could be topped in cheesiness with all the steroids and spandex. Boy was I wrong. The new-millenium-version has women that look more like women (less steroids, more silicone) and guys that could give any WWE wrestler a run for their money, but wow, seriously folks? They have a character named Wolf. He looks like he might have mange. He can't shave or get a haircut, but he does shave his chest and underarms. Nice huh? Oh, and howls every time he's on camera. Once, okay; twice, a little annoying. By the fifteenth time, I was done with it. Then they have The Rock's cousin Toa who felt compelled to do a Samoa dance when they showed him on camera, complete with the chanting and stuff. At least I'm assuming it's an actual Samoan dance. Wouldn't know, it wasn't in English and looked a bit wrong on a guy in a spandex skirt. Yep, spandex skirt. Yikes. I won't get into the scariness that was the women. They're definitely built, and definitely could kick my ass all over town and back, but I have to say that I was just waiting for a wardrobe malfunction to happen. Either on the men or women's side, seriously. A lot less spandex is worn in this new version. I'm pretty sure they must have their own full-time waxer going on. Back to my point. Okay, so this is a slightly updated version of the old classic with the cheese factor bumped up to about 500%. Even the referee is way too cheesy. So, unless the show changes for the better, I'll have to settle for old AG reruns on ESPN Classic.

C'mon, where's Mike Adamle and Larry Csonka at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

And the New Year will be blue...and maize!

So yesterday was Lloyd Carr's last game as the University of Michigan coach. The end of an era. The start of the Rich Rodriguez regime begins today. But for one last game, Lloyd Carr was in charge. And what a game that was!

We all know how much I love all things UF, so watching the UM defense throw the gator chomp on them was one of the best things ever! Almost as good as that Auburn kicker running down the field, chomping at The Swamp. Sad part is that Michigan should have totally creamed UF. They had four, count 'em four, turnovers. At least two of those should have been touchdowns (damn you Mike Hart!) and would have totally demoralized the Gator fans. Instead, the Wolverines decided that I needed to ring in the new year with a stroke and let the Gators come back after leading by two touchdowns. Yikes. The best part was the obligatory Gatorade (oh, the irony!) dump on Lloyd and carrying him out onto the field. Yeah, that's the way to end a coaching career.

Suck on that Urban Meyer! at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.