Post-Christmas Reflections

I just realized that it has been almost a month since my last post. Funny how the hustle and bustle of the holiday season can sidetrack a person. I'm happy to say that we had a nice Christmas as I hope all of you had. To those stationed overseas, and especially if you are in a combat zone, Merry Christmas, and I sincerely hope you will be coming home to your families soon, safe and sound.

What do I see for the new year? Well it looks like Saddam will be executed in the next couple of hours (technically not part of the new year, but what else can usher in a new era for the Iraqi people than the execution of a heinous dictator). The Saints have a better chance at a Super Bowl appearance than they've ever had. Michigan has a good chance at beating USC in the Rose Bowl. And hopefully all of our troops stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan come home.

The ball's dropping at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

I'm better now

Sorry for the past rant. Don't know what came over me. Maybe it's the stress of the holidays. Yeah, I'll blame that. :)

I thought about the best holiday movies and that got me in a better mood. C'mon kids say it with me. Red Ryder BB Gun! I realize that TNT/TBS will be showing this movie in its entirety in the next day or so, and won't stop showing it until the turning of 2007, but I still love it. Even if it has been perverted into a mobile phone service commercial. The bunny pajamas. Need I say more?

Also another holiday movie of note...Love Actually. While not a Christmas movie per se, it is wonderfully festive, and I almost fell off my chair watching Hugh Grant dance to the Pointer Sisters. The belief that love will conquer all is a wonderful message to send during the holidays. And the fact that a slightly goofy-looking English guy can find 3 hot women in a bar in Milwaukee willing to take him home, that's just funny. If that has ever happened, let me know. I'm betting I won't get any responses on that.

On a sidenote, do the English find our accents as charming or attractive as we find theirs? Just wondering. Because, let's face it, a guy, or girl for that matter, can be semi-attractive, but if they have a great accent, their attractiveness is at least two-fold. Maybe it's just me.

And what Christmas movie list does not include National Lampoons' Christmas Vacation? Was it the drooling/snotty dog, the cousin from hell, the house decorations that could light up an entire third world country for a year, the boss taken hostage or the turkey that split in half? Classic.

Any other suggestions? Please send them in!

19 more shopping days at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com

The Golden Rule

You know, I'm not that old, but it seems like that whole "Golden Rule" thing I was taught as a kid is no longer in effect. I'm not trying to be cynical or sarcastic, it's simply an observation. I like to do nice things for people, not really expecting anything back, but when it seems that certain people just give and give, and others just take and take, it puts me a not-so-great mindset on how the world works. What brought this on you ask? Well it's because I'm sitting here, during the lunchtime hour at the office by myself while everyone else is off eating lunch. Did anyone else ask if I had something to eat? One person, who is the only person who ever asks about my well-being mind you and I didn't want her to miss her lunch for my own selfishness. Did anyone ask if I wanted to get anything before they all left the office? Nope. Do I ask people if they want something when I go out to get food? All the time. If this had been the first time it had happened, I could shrug it off. Unfortunately, it isn't the first, second, or third time. I don't like myself when I feel this way. Maybe I shouldn't be so shallow, I should be above this. Maybe I'm just getting way too peevish in my old age, but this whole, me, me, me thing is getting old. Not the way I want to be during this time of year. You feelin' me?

It's not just me either. My co-worker stopped a car (Mercedes nonetheless) to let them know that their tire was going flat. Did she get a "thank you"? Nope, she got a huff and a barely audible "thanks", like she was inconveniencing them by mentioning they were scant fractions of an inch from riding on their expensive rim. How sad is that? With the world in the state that it's in now, with world peace nowhere near the distant horizon, shouldn't we be treating our fellow man with compassion and caring? Guess not. Even "please" and "thank you" on a regular basis seems to be too much to ask. Why is that? 'Tis the season...to think of oneself apparantly. Enough of my venting...

Bah, humbug at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com

Lest I forget

Okay, so I was so distraught over the sham of a BCS Selection Show that I neglected my NFL teams. As you may already know St. Reggie got 4 touchdowns yesterday. 4! More than he had all season to that point. Maybe he was just in a bit of a slump from the pressure of being the top draft pick, being a pillar of the New Orleans community, etc. I felt kinda bad for Deuce though as he is the quiet workhorse. He gets yard after yard and touchdown after touchdown yet he does it quietly and with more dignity than you see from most of the other high scorers in the NFL. He kinda got shoved to the side yesterday and it made me sad. He's such a great leader for the team, he should definitely get some kudos.

Now don't get me started on the Lions. How could they be beating the Patriots in New England and then lose to them? As my fellow Lions follower stated, "it's just what they do". How sucky is that? I know they could be winning, but somehow fall apart just when they could be pulling ahead. I don't know if it's the front office, the coach, the players, but they need to find the answer to the equation and soon. I see a first pick of the draft coming their way in '07. And that's not a good thing.

Christmas is a mere 3 weeks away. Seems like it's come too fast. Maybe it's because there is only one season down here...hot. Up north at least you could see it coming with the cold weather. Down in snowbird hell, it's 80+ degrees until New Year's. Not the usual festive weather. Kinda hard to think about decorating a Christmas tree when you're sweating your butt off.

Filled with the Christmas spirit at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Let the arguments begin!

The BCS bowl bids have been announced, and lo and behold, Florida was chosen to go to the National Championship game. After reading this, I couldn't agree more with ol' Gene. Michigan was totally Robbed! Yep, I capitalized it and used an exclamation point just 'cause I'm that pissed off. But as mad as I am, how mad must Auburn and Wisconsin be? Who got into a BCS bowl ahead of them? That's right Notre Dame. Yep, they sucked big time both to Michigan and USC, getting totally creamed both times, and yet they get to face #4 LSU in the Sugar Bowl. Why you ask? Because there is supposed to be only one team from each conference to go to these bowls. Oh wait...Notre Dame isn't in a conference. They will never have to worry about another team taking the spot. How is that fair to every other team? It's not, one more argument against the BCS system. The only good thing about this development is a) OSU creams Florida in the National Championship game proving Michigan, who only lost by three points in Columbus, should have gone to the game, b) Notre Dame will get creamed by LSU, and barring any catastrophes should be a reality, showing Notre Dame should never have gone, c) the powers that be finally realize there should be some sort of playoff system. I'm not sure how much of this will actually happen, but I can hope.

Writing hate letters to the BCS at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Recovery has begun

Okay, so it's taken me this long to recover from the loss. I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one to question the whole BCS system. I still don't understand that system. So USC, who lost to a non-ranked Oregon State, is better than UM, who lost to #1 ranked OSU by three points. USC beat the Irish in LA by 20 points and UM beat the Irish in South Bend by like 26 points. I just don't see how this system works and the fact that the PAC-10 has ranked teams that, let's face it, just really suck. Oh well. I guess the public will get what they want and if USC goes to the championship game to play OSU, I hope that OSU kicks the snot out of them (I can't believe I just said that, rooting for the Buckeyes is just sacrilegious).

On the NFL front, my beloved Saints beat the Falcons...again...in Atlanta. Woohoo. Hard to feel bad for a team that just gives up after being down for awhile. Also have to appreciate the fact that their superstar (Michael/Mike Vick for those of you not in the know) gave the finger to the crowd after they lost. And I'm not talking about the #1 symbol. What kind of person are you to insult the one group of people that provide your livelihood? A classy move by all means.

Black Friday has come and gone. Did you brave the crowds for the advertised deals? I did not, not really anyway. I ventured out around 11 a.m. It was not as crowded as expected at Best Buy where I browsed their wares. I did notice, however, that the same camera I observed last weekend for $299 was now priced at a bargin $335. Can you say holiday markup? Is this even legal? Makes me glad I didn't get up at 4 a.m. to try to snatch up that deal.

Only 27 1/2 more shopping days at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com

Countdown has begun.

In case you haven't heard, although I wonder if you haven't, the U of M/OSU showdown kicks off at 3:30 p.m. on ABC Saturday. I really hope it's a good game. If it's a total blowout, I'll be pissed, well not if it's Michigan beating the stuffing out of OSU. Everyone is still debating over the loser's fate after this game. I am personally going to have to root for Cal to beat USC, and then USC to beat Notre Dame, West Virginia to beat Rutgers, LSU to beat Arkansas and then Arkansas to beat Florida. Think all these things will align? Me either, but it's always good to have a dream.

So Thanksgiving is next week. Turkey Day! I love turkey and all the fixins. Of course the whole Black Friday thing is a bit much. I travelled out a few years ago to brave the crowds. (Yes, I still wonder why I tried it.) I had seen the news stories of people camped out the night before, waiting in lines miles long (no exaggeration), and then fighting over the three items that were actually on sale as advertised. I personally don't need to save $5 bad enough to punch out a 70-year-old lady. Online shopping is the way to go. Most places offer free shipping if your order is over a certain amount and no lines! How fab is that?

Gobble, gobble at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

BCS BS!

Okay, so what's going on in the Big East? First West Virginia goes down and then Louisville. When did anyone ever think that the nation would be talking about Rutgers football team and not asking, What? Who? The last couple of games have kinda shot the idea that the Big East is a contender for the BCS National Championship in the foot. This weekend shouldn't be too eventful for the NCAA. Ohio State plays Northwestern and Michigan plays Illinois. If either of these teams lose this weekend, oy. There has been a lot of debate on who should play the winner of the UM-OSU game for the national championship. I personally think that now Louisville is pretty much out of the running, it should be the loser of the UM-OSU game. Now hear me out. They are currently one and two in the rankings and as of that point they would be undefeated. If one beats two, or two beats one, should they fall below teams that already have a loss against teams that were ranked below one or two? I don't think so. It would be like a rematch for all the marbles.

Speaking of the National Championship game. It is being held in Arizona, basically the Fiesta Bowl right? So why is there another Fiesta Bowl this year? I thought it was supposed to rotate. If it's in Arizona, shouldn't the BCS Championship Game be the Fiesta Bowl? Just seems weird to me.

Also there was a piece on Fox Sports website about the Top 25 mascots. How can the Texas A&M collie be more recognizable than Mike the Tiger (LSU's mascot), the real tiger or the guy in the suit? Please like that's any contest. Personally, I think your mascot should be whatever your team name is. When Hawaii was the Rainbow Warriors they should have had a guy dressed up in the rainbow suit. You should also only get one mascot per team. The Florida gator, guy and girl, a bit of overkill. Heck, Michigan doesn't even have a mascot but everyone knows they're wolverines. They might not be able to tell you what a wolverine looks like, but they know that Michigan is it.

It's not a badger at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Who'da thunk it?

So for you NFL fans out there, what a crazy Sunday! The Lions beat the Falcons and the Dolphins beat the undefeated Bears. I have been one of the doubters of the Lions having even a halfway decent season. Gotta love Roy Williams and Kevin Jones. They were animals yesterday! Jon Kitna throwing over 300 yards in a game and they actually won. Go figure. For all those folks that were kissing Michael/Mike Vick's tush last week saying that he was a good pocket passer and he was a legitimate quarterback and not just a running back with a bit of an arm, I've got this to say...2 interceptions and a fumble. Not saying that he can't run and he could probably pass too, we just don't see it. If he has another good game, the commentators will be kissing his butt again, if he doesn't they'll all be saying I told you so. So fickle.

And then there were the Dolphins... Bet they weren't complaining too much about Joey's arm after 3 TDs. Of course there were the interceptions, but they won against 'da Bears. That should count for a lot!

My beloved Saints won against the Bucs...again! It was pretty sweet, but I almost had a stroke when they were up 17-0 and then let the Bucs score 14 unanswered points. Why do they do this to me? Of course, Colston was on fire, as usual, Devery Henderson got 2, count 'em, 2 touchdowns and Deuce ran one in for a TD. It was pretty sweet as they panned around Raymond James Stadium and a good percentage of the seats were empty in the fourth quarter. Chris Sims didn't look too worried on the sidelines as he watched Gradkowski and the offense implode. Now on to Pittsburgh, Cincinati (ocho cinco), Atlanta, San Francisco, Dallas, New York, and Carolina. Personally, I think the NFL should have given the Saints the Giants game at home as they were given that sham of a "home" game last year at Giants Stadium. Only seems fair to me.

8 down and 7 more to go at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Post-Halloween Report

So the kids are crashing from the sugar high known as Halloween. Maybe because I'm too old to appreciate the finer points of this holiday but I just can't get into Halloween too much anymore. You know you're old when the one thing you're looking forward to is the after-Halloween clearance of candy. Bag o' candy - 50 cents. I'm so totally there. Thankfully, my kids aren't too bad. We limited the walking to just our street and they still scored some really good candy. Should last until next year.

In other news, they opened a Bass Pro Shops down here. I totally missed out on getting an autograph from Jevon Kearse as he was here for the grand opening. Totally bummed. He's a good guy. Hope his knee is healing well. Much more of a draw than Miss Florida (she was also there for the grand opening) but maybe I would feel differently if I were a teenage boy.

Now for my rant... Does anyone watch NFL Total Access on the NFL Network? I usually like watching this show as it has Rich Eisen (Michigan Alum). Every Wednesday they have the head of NFL Officiating on to answer questions about key plays or calls during the previous weekend. This week they had a questionable call from the Monday night game. As usual, though Rich and everyone else watching could see that it was a bad call (which was challenged, replayed and yet upheld though he clearly made a "football move"), Mr. Pereira would not say that the official was wrong. I don't know why they bother having him on the show. He never says that the official made a wrong call regardless if there is "indisputable evidence" to the contrary. I say to the folks at NFL Network, keep the guy off the show. He just makes us mad.

Holding my breath and counting to ten at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Does it have the distance?

Only two and half more months of football and I swear I'll talk about something else.

So Michigan won, Notre Dame and Texas barely squeaked by and Michigan State won for once. Okay, so it was against Northwestern, but a win is a win right? Armageddon is coming. For those of you not in the know, this is a pivotal weekend in which Michigan takes on Ohio State. Basically, it's like the National Championship, just a couple of months early. The winner will most likely be in the BCS Championship game. The loser will get to go to some lesser Bowl game. Either way, it'll be fun to watch.

On to the NFL. The Saints play Baltimore this weekend. I'm a little concerned as Baltimore is coming off a bye week as well and they have two losses to try to avenge. The Saints are at least playing at home which I hope helps their morale. The win against Philly helped solidify their standing as a good football team. Not bad for a team that only won three games last year and were thought to be moving away from Louisiana.

One of the big stories this weekend was Matt Bryant of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. He kicked a 62-yard game-winning field goal on Sunday. 62 YARDS!!!! I said he doesn't need a resume anymore, just point and say "62 yards". 'Nuff said. They even proclaimed yesterday as Matt Bryant Day in Tampa. Not too shabby for a kicker.

It's up and it's good at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Football, football, football!

Here we are into week 6 of the NFL season. It's almost halfway over already. Time really flies. I should know better when I see Christmas crap being sold at the stores already. Not that I begrudge people their seasonal decorations. No, quite the contrary. I love Christmas and the whole season, the decorations, the carols, the whole atmosphere (although it would be easier to love if it wasn't still 90 degrees with 90% humidity in December), but I don't want to start celebrating in September. It just ends up a bigger letdown when Christmas actually happens and then December 26, poof! it's all over. Four months of build up and one day, nothing. But I digress...

So the Saints won against the Bucs. Reggie got his first NFL career touchdown (REG-GIE! REG-GIE!). Deuce played amazing as usual and they are definitely at the top of the division (amazing as it may seem). They now have to play Chunky Soup Guy and the Eagles this weekend. I think everyone has picked the Saints to lose. Works for me. So far everyone has picked them to lose about every week so it's been a good thing. Stay under the radar.

Other happenings? Super Mario is out against Penn State this weekend. That's too bad 'cause the kid seemed unstoppable. It should still be a good game, but as Michigan fans everywhere will agree, we need him back for the Ohio State game. While I would really love for Michigan to be the national champions, it's just as good to ruin OSU's season. :) Is that petty?

As you have undoubtedly seen, Cory Lidle, of the recently eliminated Yankees (go Tigers!), was killed in an airplane crash. While this is tragic, and I certainly feel for his family, if he had been killed in a car accident it would not have received as much press and media attention as it has. I don't recall Pat Tillman getting as much press after he was killed in action in Afghanistan. Of course, T.O. gets more press than either one of these tragedies combined. Sad, but true.

Trying to sort it out at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Oh the humanity!

Well, I was hoping the boys would ride the momentum 'til the end of the season. Should have known it wouldn't last. The Saints fell to the Carolina Panthers on Sunday. They did keep it close though, scoring a touchdown in the last two minutes to bring them within 3. It was't enough, however, and they were handed their first loss of the season. Still it's hard to get down considering they are now 3-1. Winning season so far. More than I can say about the poor Lions. New coach, new quarterback, same result. Wonder if it has anything to do with their front office. Hmmmm...

In other news...

Just saw that a man walked into an Amish school in rural Lancaster County and killed a bunch of kids and them himself. How screwed up do you have to be in the head to want to kill a bunch of poor Amish kids? It's just sad. I feel bad for those kids that had to go through that and all their families.

Have you seen the pictures on the latest issue of People magazine? Ugh, feed those poor girls. How are little girls supposed to look up to these women when you can practically look through these women? Eat a cheeseburger and stop shopping in the Toy Barbie section of the store.

Dome Sweet Dome

In case you were one of the maybe five people in America that did not hear about the Monday Night game last night, the Saints rolled over the Falcons 23-3. It was something to see, watching the fans, seeing the stories of the devastation in New Orleans and throughout the Gulf Coast region, and, of course, watching the Saints use the emotion and the fans' enthusiasm to play better than I've seen them play in years. It started in the first 90 seconds of the game. Despite the fact that the Saints lost the coin toss, which President George H.W. Bush tried to help them on, they kept the Falcons to a 3-and-out. On the punt, Steve Gleason blocked the punt, without touching the punter mind you, and Curtis Deloatch (nope, I hadn't heard of him either) recovered the ball sliding into the end zone. The crowd erupted and the Saints were on a roll. Love those boys!!!

Reggie didn't disappoint although I was hoping for a touchdown for him, just because it was an historic night and it would have capped it off so well. He did manage to distract the Falcons' D who followed him and watched for him, while not paying as much attention to Deuce and the receivers.

Reggie is my new hero and not just because he plays so well. He could have easily let his paycheck and ego grow out of control like some of the high draft picks out there, but he didn't. He managed to become a savior to New Orleans before even signing his contract. Through his endorsement deal with Adidas, they saved a school from closing and rebuilt a football field for schools in New Orleans. Through his deal with General Motors/Hummer, they provided a number of Hummers to police departments throughout Louisiana. Through his deal with Diet Pepsi (yep, laughed at those commercials with the machine), they will donate money for every yard that he rushes. How awesome is he? He doesn't have to do this, but he is. He's trying to make a difference. Maybe it's a great marketing ploy, maybe not. The point is he's out there giving back to the community and you have to love him for that.

Monday Night Football!!!

It's hard to believe that the Superdome went from this to this in just over a year. While many people disagree with pouring money into the Superdome when so many families are still without homes, and I can certainly see why they're angry, it helps to lend some normalcy to New Orleans. This will be a spectacle not to be missed. Since last year's home opener that was at Giants Stadium while they were playing the Giants, thanks Mr. Tagliabue, the Saints had a wish-we-could-forget-this-year season. The beleagured Saints are finally returning home with a 2-0 start to the season. Unfortunately, the Falcons aren't just going to roll over for the Saints to win at home. Sean Payton has made a number of personnel changes, and I will admit that I was a doubter at first, but to have the Saints come in with a swagger they have been lacking since about 2001, he has done a good job. I hope the emotion and outpouring of support motivates the Saints to send the Falcons home with a noticeable limp.

In other football news, what happened to Michigan State? They were well-poised to send the Irish home hurting from another butt-whooping, but managed to lose their significant lead. After the flag incident last year, as well as having Michigan pave the way with the loss in South Bend last week, State should have trounced Quinn and the Irish. Instead they let them come back and win at East Lansing. Who has bragging rights now?

1st and goal at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com!

Doughnuts...mmmmm

Okay, I have become a slave to the little round bits of dough fried in oil dripping with fat and sugar. Gotta love 'em. I'm convinced that the Krispy Kreme creator is the devil. I know they are soooooo bad for me with almost no positive nutritional value contained within and yet I could easily pound a couple of them back-to-back. While my favorite is the Krispy Kreme, plain glazed, still warm from their little fryer (which you can only get from a Krispy Kreme store, which we still lack down here). It's heaven on a napkin.

I had not experienced such nirvana until I visited the in-laws in Louisiana. They had a new Krispy Kreme store that, suprise, surprise, was always packed full of people. Got the dozen to go and was instantly hooked. As you can imagine, I was hoping they would put such an establishment near us. Not so much, which I guess is a good thing as I am fat enough as it is. Have to settle for Dunkin' Donuts which isn't bad either, but not the same. Of course there are some Dunkin' Donuts stores down here that are also Baskin' Robbins too. Oh the horror.

Would you like some coffee with that sugar at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com

Weekend Recovery

It was a good and bad weekend for football. This was the highlight of the weekend. Though the Michigan game was excellent, this one not so much. Totally thought that LSU got hosed by the officials whether the SEC wants to believe it or not. I think there were some Auburn fans on that side. Very disappointing when even the commentators are remarking on it. Anyhoo, back to celebrating the stomping of the Irish.

I especially loved when the Michigan fans, in South Bend mind you, chanted "Overrated!" I think it was around the time that Brady Quinn threw his third interception. It was music to my ears. Almost as good as "Hail to the Victors" but not quite. Don't think that Brady Quinn will be on anyone's Heisman ballot this year.

NFL side: The Saints won another on the road...2 in a row. And the first two games of the season. Almost too good to be true. Don't want to jinx it. Next week will be a tough one as they have to play Atlanta in the Superdome. While I like Atlanta's defense, especially their Defensive Ends, I am not a big Mike Vick fan. Just think he has to improvise too much. I think that he's much like Aaron Brooks was in his early years with the Saints before they stopped him from running when he wanted to. Didn't give Aaron much of a chance before cutting him loose.
But I digress.

The Monday Night game should be quite a spectacle. Besides the football, it will be a celebration of working towards returning New Orleans to its former glory. While I know that football is not the highest priority down there, and it shouldn't be, it can help people escape their problems for a few hours and have fun.

My other team, the Lions, looked quite sad on Sunday. It was real butt whooping by da' Bears. It was almost too painful to watch. A co-worker, who is also from Michigan, said he'd bet fifty dollars that the Lions have a winning season this year. So far, I'm thinking I'm going to be fifty bucks richer in January.

Never forget

I may be a day late and a dollar short but I won't ever forget...

All over the media were newscasters and celebrities asking, "Where were you when it happened?" I was at my mom's house, four months pregnant with my second daughter, waiting to go to breakfast with my mom when I turned on the television to see Good Morning America talking about the World Trade Center. I thought it odd that they were so serious when it is generally a light-hearted show.

Then they showed the first tower smoking and burning. Was it a missile? Was it an explosion? Was it just a really bad fire? Then the second plane hit and it was like a bad movie come to life. The smoke, the horror, the firefighters and police responding, then the towers coming down and all the people running. It was almost unreal, and then the news of all the people who did not make it out of the buildings. I cried for all the mothers and fathers who would not see their children again, the sons and daughters who would be missing their parents, the brothers, sisters, cousins, nephews, friends. Everyone lost was loved by someone that would miss them.

The tragedy of the World Trade Center, Pentagon and Flight 93 galvanized a nation by making us realize what is really important in life. If it didn't touch your life in some way, shape or form, you may be a lost cause.

It's about time!

The beleaguered Saints finally have something to cheer over. I will admit that I was one of the first people to question Sean Payton's saneness in cutting a bunch of veterans, namely Jay Bellamy, Donte Stallworth and, the seemingly up and comer, Colby Buckwoldt. To my great surprise, the Saints' linebacker corp, notably last on everyone's list in the NFL, showed up to party on Sunday. Maybe they saw all the reports too and wanted to shove them back in the sports journalists' faces. It was a good time had by all, well, except the Browns' fans. That Charlie Frye can maneuver though.

On a stranger note, there was an earthquake out in the Gulf of Mexico on Sunday. That's right, I said earthquake. Yep, not that we didn't have enough to worry about with the hurricanes, heat, price of gas, flooding rains, now we have to hear about earthquakes. It wasn't a little one either. 6.0 which is nothing to sneeze at. Earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes. It's been a great summer.

Bend over and kiss it goodbye at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com

Crikey!!!

If you haven't heard, today the world lost a great, well, okay a strange, man. Steve Irwin, a.k.a. the Crocodile Hunter, died today after trying to swim with deadly stingrays. Ironic that he was killed trying to film a special called "The World's Deadliest"? Probably not. I imagine that if they're called the world's deadliest animals, it's probably for a good reason. I feel bad for his family, (you remember this right?) but considering his chosen profession he may have tempted fate one time too many. Sorry Steve. Still have to like a man who can laugh at himself.

Are you ready for some football?

It begins today and ends right around New Year's Day. Yep, that's right. College Football!!!! My beloved Wolverines started on the right foot by beating Vanderbilt 27-7 in The Big House! This is not saying a whole bunch as Vanderbilt is to the SEC as Stanford is to the Pac-10. At least Michigan played someone from a decent conference though. As opposed to Ohio State kicking the crap out of Northern Illinois. Not much of a game there. Notre Dame is about to play against Georgia Tech. There has been so much hype about Notre Dame and Brady Quinn winning the Heisman. I personally hope they get the snot beat out of them. 'Course I've never had a bunch of luck when trying to put the bad mojo on them.

Just another note, there was a good deal of press about how Jeremy Bloom was no longer allowed to play football at the University of Colorado because he was a professional skiier. If this is the case, why is a professional boxer allowed to play football at Notre Dame? Their safety, I believe, started a professional boxing career recently which was profiled on ESPN. Just doesn't seem fair to me, but you know how it is at the big football schools, especially those private ones with the rich alumni.

Sunshine State Update

It's been a while since the last post. I'm sure everyone's been on pins and needles because of this. Okay, maybe not so much. Since the last post I've had the pleasure of digging myself further into debt by getting a new A/C system installed in the old abode. Absolutely necessary for Mickey Mouse land south. Don't know how those settlers way back when did it. I'd be on the first wagon outta this place back then when a) the first hurricane/tropical storm hit, and/or b) it was 95 in April.

If you haven't been watching the news or the fifteen thousand weather reports on The Weather Channel, you will be happy to know that Ernesto turned out to be a bluff. Not that I'm complaining. I've become rather cynical when it comes to tropical weather. I know that while we didn't have it as bad as the people up on the Gulf Coast of Mississippi and New Orleans by a long shot, I have to say that no power for over a week sucks! See the previous paragraph for illustration of such suckiness. Not only that but we have a well which for you cityfolk means that with no power, there is no water. Yep, no flushing toilets, no showers, ultra stinkiness. So even if I could live without the TV, DVD, Computer, DSL, and (God forbid) A/C, we still have the no water factor going on. When Charley came through, no power for five days. When Wilma came through, no power for eight days. You see where I'm going with this? So when Ernesto was predicted to roll right up our alley, I was praying to the electricity gods with all my might. My co-workers were all, "I want it to hit us head on so we don't have to work". I replied, "I have no problem coming to work as long as I have electricty!" Anyway, just some rain and a bunch of hoopla that wasn't really needed. Publix out of water and gas stations out of gas. Go figure. We have survived.

Mice on a Bus!

I am a big movie watcher. Love movies. Love to laugh and cry and critique movies. I like Samuel L. Jackson, but I have to wonder about the quality of a movie called "Snakes on a Plane". While I realize this a most apt name for the movie as it is about, say it ain't so, snakes on a plane, the title makes it sound so cheesy. Maybe this is on purpose. Maybe it is a very cheesy movie. After "Pulp Fiction", "xXx" and "Shaft", I would expect Mr. Jackson to lend some credence to a movie. Of course this is the man who also starred in "Deep Blue Sea".

On a more serious note, I did see "World Trade Center" the Tuesday before it hit mainstream theaters. Needless to say, I went through a bunch of tissues and napkins. I liked the fact that though it was an Oliver Stone movie, it was not all about politics, conspiracy theory, etc. It was people helping people. I might feel differently if I knew someone personally that was involved, but I thought it was very moving and may help show that 9/11 wasn't just about death and destruction. It was about the best inside of men coming to the surface and helping complete strangers in the worst of times.

Freedom!!!!

Ah, I've always loved the smell of crayons and Elmer's glue in the morning. The kids head back to school and I have time to reflect on how short their summer vacation really was. When I was a kid, all those years ago, I remember getting approximately three months off between Memorial Day and Labor Day. The kids down here now only get just over two months. While I would be totally bummed if I were a school-age kid to only have two months off (the horror), as an adult I have to say that it's not too bad to have the kids back on the bus in two months.

Now it's back to the grind of homework, parent-teacher conferences, and, dare I say it, fundraisers. As Bill Engvall once said, they turn them into little Amway kids. They'll sell anything. I have bought the usual magazine subscriptions, wrapping paper, candy more expensive than Godiva, but was thrown off by the fundraiser to sell Coke. Yep, good ol' Coca-cola that you can get at your local grocery, megamart or convenience store. They sold cases of 20 oz. Coke bottles. While I have to say it was different, I can't imagine wanting to haul around cases of Coke to distribute to the neighborhood. Though I feel dutybound to buy this stuff from my kids, don't want them to be ostracized by being the only kid in class not to get some cheap dollar store prize for selling five bazillion boxes of cookies, I'm going broke. Give us a break.

Welcome to Florida!

Just found out that I may need to replace the ol' A/C unit on the house. And since it's only like 500 degrees outside with 900% humidity, I can't really put it off. Woohoo. Should cost roughly the same amount as a new Kia. Financial freedom is not in my immediate forecast. I'm sorely tempted to try those "work at home" schemes. You've heard of these right? Make money in your free time. "I made $5,000 a month just working part time." While it sounds too good to be true, it can't be bad right? Somebody slap me now!

I can't drive...55!

Okay, I live in the retirement capital of the world. Knowing this, there are drivers transplanted from all over this great country of ours to the beautiful Sunshine State, I should be prepared to see different driving styles on our roads. Unfortunately, not all of these states seem to have the same requirements for earning a driver's license. I know this because apparently in the state of Iowa (according to the plate on the land yacht responsible) it is perfectly okay to make a left hand turn from the right hand turn lane, four lanes over. Allowed in the state of Indiana (plate on the shiny Lexus responsible), if you miss your turn, stop traffic in your lane on US 41 and wait with your blinker on for a break to cross the three lanes to make said turn. But wait, it gets better!

I actually spoke with a sheriff's deputy who said that he stopped an older lady in her Mercedes who had run a stop sign. She, of course, gave him attitude saying that they did that all the time in her home state (state unknown at this time, my guess is New Jersey). He wrote her a ticket and let her go. She proceeded to run the next stop sign less than a quarter mile away in front of the same deputy. He said he didn't write her a ticket but stopped her and said, "You definitely have a problem."

I won't lie and say that I'm a perfect driver, but in this area you either have to drive 20 mph or 80 mph on a stretch of road with posted 45 mph speed limit, dodging dump trucks and little old ladies, who can barely see over the steering wheel. And we wonder why road rage is an issue.

Back to the grind

August is now here with the start of school and, more importantly, football season. Sweaty, big men are now working in the sun and blistering heat at training camps around the country. I personally enjoy air-conditioned comfort, but if I was getting paid six- and seven-figure salaries, I would be out there sweating with the big boys easy. I wonder if the waterboy gets paid well. Probably better than me, though there should be some kind of hazardous duty pay for having to put up with the funk that must permeate their locker rooms. Eww.

Say it ain't so

So the cycling world was dealt a blow today thanks to Floyd. I knew it was too good to be true when he came back from 11th to 3rd to win with a bum hip. Though I do not follow cycling with the same intensity that I follow football...okay, I don't really follow cycling at all, I still had to root for the guy that was to inherit the crown Lance left behind. It was kinda like cheering for anyone to beat the Patriots. After awhile, you want someone else to win just 'cause you're tired of hearing about the same person. Anyone else feelin' this? Too bad he went down in flames after doping to get through cycling the bazillion miles through the mountains of Europe. Yikes. No wonder all cyclists weigh like 50 pounds. Sorry Floyd.

The end of the world is nigh

I now know that the end of world is near. How do I know this you might ask? Because I saw in the window display, large as life, WE NOW CARRY SIZE 00. While I understand the desire to become thinner, I myself would like to get to a single-digit pant size sometime before I expire, I think the fashion industry has gone too far when they feel the need to start making negative sizes. It was not that long ago, maybe I'm dating myself here, that I actually did a double take in the mall upon seeing the sign, once again as large as the storefront window, WE NOW CARRY SIZE 0. Is it too much to ask women to weigh more than a package of toilet paper or to eat more in one day than a hummingbird? I do not have this problem as you may have guessed. I know that I could never be annorexic because I like to eat, and I could never be bulemic because I hate throwing up. I just can't see how glamorizing and promoting these walking skeletons can be good for the body image of the millions of teen and pre-teenage girls in this world. I hope we go back to the days of Marilyn Monroe, where size 8 was not considered plus-size.

A good start (I hope)!

Only four more months of hurricane season. Can't say how much I love that. Don't know about y'all out there, but a northern winter doesn't look so bad now. I'm tired of Mother Nature being pissed at us. No power, no air conditioning, and no water for weeks is truly a great vacation, right? I must admit that I am like every other person in this state and wait until the very last minute to stock up on the necessities...booze and chips. Okay, maybe not so much, but I do enjoy fighting an 80-year-old retiree for the last 20 oz. bottle of Zephyrhills water at Publix. So much fun.

Also, what is up with the weather people down here? They all do the promos for their upcoming forecasts as if it's a mystery that only they have the answer. Like I want to get up at 4 a.m. to listen to a perpetually chipper person tell me that we might have a chance for rain. I could have told them that. It's southern Florida in the middle of the summer. Let me guess, it's going to be hot, humid and rain in the afternoon. The forecast tomorrow? Hot, humid, rain in the afternoon. It's the same forecast for approximately six months. I can't believe they get paid for that. I'm in the wrong business.