State of the Onion

I am not a political genius, I will readily admit this. I barely passed political science in college and it was probably because I was barely interested in the subject matter. It was required, otherwise I would not have taken the course. This being said, I watch The President's speeches with half an ear. Why? Well, I didn't vote for him. Not that I really voted for the other guy, I was more voting against W. I digress.

Last night was the State of the Union address, or as my husband said, State of the Onion. I wasn't going to watch it because I'd much rather watch a cooking show or a reality television show than listen to the leader of the free world spew crap for 45 minutes or so. My husband, good citizen that he is, wanted to watch it so we did. Boy, I was not disappointed. His whole speech was probably about 15 minutes long but with everyone having to clap and stand up after every other sentence it stretched to 45 minutes (this is after the 15 minutes it took to have him walk in, shake hands, sign autographs, yes I said sign autographs, and then have everyone clap, stand up and clap some more). I couldn't help but think that most of the Democrats in that room, you know, the ones who weren't standing and clapping everytime he said "the", were muttering under their breath, "Man, he's such a schmuck." Maybe it's me. I find it hard to place my faith in a president that hasn't done a whole bunch positive in the two terms he served but wants to change the world in the less than a year he has left. Call me pessimistic, but I just don't think it's going to happen. What I got out of his speech was this, the rich will get richer, the poor might get a little more help, and those of us who might be middle class are SOL. Maybe I'm wrong.

He talked about military members and families making more money. I'm down with that as a former military member I know exactly how much military families don't make. He wants government to be accountable and balance the budget. Gee, ya think? He wants no more tax increases. I don't want to pay more taxes as much as the next guy, but if we want stuff fixed, the money has to come from somewhere. Realistically speaking, it'll probably have to come from taxes. I say tax all the super-wealthy people that are barely paying any taxes to begin with due to loopholes and whatnot. I read in an article that people like Warren Buffet, a.k.a. super rich guy, pay income tax on about 0.5% of their income while regular joes, like myself, pay income tax on 100% of our income. Am I the only one seeing something wrong with this? He wants the rebates for tax payers to go out and stimulate the economy. Where's the money coming from? Last I heard, we're up to our eyeballs in debt, the dollar ain't worth squat, and most of the products we buy are imported. Gee, think we need to fix all that stuff first? Once again, maybe it's just me.

Thank you and God Bless America at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com

So it starts

I am a person that has a hobby du jour. Yep, I'll be all into one thing until something else catches my eye. I think I have extracurricular ADD. I was into knitting until I got some scrapbooking stuff. Which I was into until I got some other things, and so on, and so on. Well, today it's cupcake making. Yep, I decided to make cupcakes for my youngest's birthday party which is in two days. I tried a recipe test (thankfully) before the big day to see if they were at least edible. They turned out eh. The kids were kind at least saying they were "okay." I think this means rather gross but at least I taught them well and they spared my feelings. Why this sudden obsession with cupcakes? I blame this lady for making me think I could actually do this. I do have the backup plan, a.k.a. Duncan Hines, in the pantry in case I totally screw this up. I must say that the cake part turned out okay but the ganache was a bit much. I think too much dark chocolate is a bad thing. Think I'll go for semi-sweet for the actual event. We'll see. I've even thought about trying for marzipan decorations. Maybe something like this. Too ambitious? Nah. If you happen to see a mushroom cloud rising over southwest Florida, it's probably me trying to make more cupcakes.

It's not burnt, it's blackened at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

I want to be a Biggest Loser!

I have become addicted to The Biggest Loser on NBC. Why you ask? Probably because my fat ass needs to lose like 50 lbs. and it's nice to see people actually able to do so in like 3 weeks time. I guess if I worked out 4 hours a day and only ate Jennie-O turkey and Nabisco 100 Calorie Packs (shameless plug, much like on the show) I would lose a ton of weight too. My question to the contestants is if you've seen this show at all, you know by past winners that the winner almost always loses like 50% of his body weight (yep, always a guy winning the big prize). Well, if you go in weighing like 190, you're likely to not lose 50% of your body weight because then you'd look like a concentration camp refugee. It just ain't going to happen. Maybe I'm wrong on this.

This season it's a couples thing. Could be interesting since you not only have to lose weight to stay in the game, but your partner has to lose weight too. Should make for interesting bonding sessions during the show. I foresee a beatdown when someone catches their partner scarfing down a cupcake.

I am on my own personal crusade to lose said 50 lbs. I have started the Weight Watchers Points program which is livable since you can still eat normal stuff and even splurge on things occasionally. I have so far lost like 9 lbs. which is always cool. Eventually I won't feel like a total slug in a tank top.

Don't eat that, it's like 25 points! at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

P.S. As I predicted in a previous post regarding the risk of wardrobe malfunction on the new American Gladiators, it happened. On Monday night during the pyramid event, one of the ladies got yanked down by the scrap of spandex that was covering her girls. And the ladies flew out. Thankfully, she had on the necessary undergarments though don't know how they market that to people who wear spandex for 8 hours of the day. Needless to say, they didn't show that gladiator again during that event. Wonder what happens if one of the guys' shorts/skirts get pulled down. Could make for interesting television. Janet ain't got nothing on these peeps.

Another useless nut!

I write this post a bit sleepily as I stayed up until midnight to watch LSU kick the crap out of Ohio State. Yep, The Ohio State University (in all capitals which is very important and pretentious). I would almost feel bad for the OSU fans as this is almost exactly what happened last year to them, but hey, it's Ohio State and, thus, they deserve it. It was awesome watching the guys in purple and gold shut down the OSU offense and defense and make all those obnoxious OSU fans cry. Does that make me a bad person? As a tried and true Michigan Wolverines fan I have to say, "Yeah! You might have beat us but at least we've beat a SEC team in two different bowl games!" Which team you ask? The one that kicked the crap out of OSU last year. Dot that "i" OHIO!

There will be, undoubtedly, debates on who is the official national champion. I don't know why; the game was played last night, LSU won, 'nuff said. Unfortunately, Pete Carroll, of USC (the team that got beat by the Tree) said he might petition to have a shared national championship. Why? Because he's a sore loser. I'd rather see Georgia share the championship if they're going to go that route. Why is it that USC needs to be in the picture all the time. Your 15 minutes of fame are up. Go home!

Geaux Tigers!!!! at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

Bring on the spandex and steroids

I'm a total nerd. I know this, and have in fact embraced this facet of my personality. With regards to this, I am not ashamed to admit that I have been looking forward to the return of American Gladiators. I am a child of the 80s-90s (though I was in high school in the early 90s so I think I'm pushing that statement) so I remember the cheesiness that was the original AG. Muscle-bound men and women (some of the women looking more manly than the men) duking it out with everyday joes off the street for money and fame, well as much fame as you can get from being on AG. It's been advertised for a few months now that the new AG was coming complete with Hulk Hogan as the host. Hulk Hogan! As in Hulkamania! Yeah. Guess I should have known this was doomed from the start.

Anyhoo, it's premiere episode was on last night and of course I watched as I am a television addict. I didn't think that the old AG could be topped in cheesiness with all the steroids and spandex. Boy was I wrong. The new-millenium-version has women that look more like women (less steroids, more silicone) and guys that could give any WWE wrestler a run for their money, but wow, seriously folks? They have a character named Wolf. He looks like he might have mange. He can't shave or get a haircut, but he does shave his chest and underarms. Nice huh? Oh, and howls every time he's on camera. Once, okay; twice, a little annoying. By the fifteenth time, I was done with it. Then they have The Rock's cousin Toa who felt compelled to do a Samoa dance when they showed him on camera, complete with the chanting and stuff. At least I'm assuming it's an actual Samoan dance. Wouldn't know, it wasn't in English and looked a bit wrong on a guy in a spandex skirt. Yep, spandex skirt. Yikes. I won't get into the scariness that was the women. They're definitely built, and definitely could kick my ass all over town and back, but I have to say that I was just waiting for a wardrobe malfunction to happen. Either on the men or women's side, seriously. A lot less spandex is worn in this new version. I'm pretty sure they must have their own full-time waxer going on. Back to my point. Okay, so this is a slightly updated version of the old classic with the cheese factor bumped up to about 500%. Even the referee is way too cheesy. So, unless the show changes for the better, I'll have to settle for old AG reruns on ESPN Classic.

C'mon, where's Mike Adamle and Larry Csonka at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

And the New Year will be blue...and maize!

So yesterday was Lloyd Carr's last game as the University of Michigan coach. The end of an era. The start of the Rich Rodriguez regime begins today. But for one last game, Lloyd Carr was in charge. And what a game that was!

We all know how much I love all things UF, so watching the UM defense throw the gator chomp on them was one of the best things ever! Almost as good as that Auburn kicker running down the field, chomping at The Swamp. Sad part is that Michigan should have totally creamed UF. They had four, count 'em four, turnovers. At least two of those should have been touchdowns (damn you Mike Hart!) and would have totally demoralized the Gator fans. Instead, the Wolverines decided that I needed to ring in the new year with a stroke and let the Gators come back after leading by two touchdowns. Yikes. The best part was the obligatory Gatorade (oh, the irony!) dump on Lloyd and carrying him out onto the field. Yeah, that's the way to end a coaching career.

Suck on that Urban Meyer! at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.