Happy Halloween!

It's the 31st of October y'all. That means that the little (and not so little) ones across the country are girding their loins for the battle of the candy corn. Well, maybe not candy corn because, honestly, who really enjoys candy corn. It ranks right up there with circus peanuts. Yuck. Back to the subject at hand...

So everyone under the age of 18 (or so) has scoured the stores and websites to find the right costume in which to panhandle for candy. Mine are going as a pink Power Ranger (oh, the horror!) and a cheetah (or leopard, or some other big cat as advertised on the plastic package). Not to be confused with the skankadelic costumes available for girls above the age of 4. Have you seen some of these costumes? Yikes. They're the type of costumes that your child can trick or treat in and then head straight to the strip club. Someone's gotta make the cash to pay for them right? Oy! Anyway, every man, woman and child should be out in full force this evening grabbing all the Reese's, Hershey's and M&M's they can handle. Tis the American Way! Be sure to watch for little ones darting across the streets in search of the elusive full-size candy bar.

Let the sugar rush begin at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

I need a hug

So here's my rant for the day...

I've been following that story about the lady dying in police custody at the Phoenix airport. If you haven't heard, she was apparently headed to Tuscon to check herself into an alcohol rehab clinic. Instead she got bumped off a flight and threw a fit which got her arrested. While she was in a holding cell, she managed to strangle herself while trying to get the handcuffs from around her back. Now I understand that her family is upset, I would be too, but the husband (that was not accompanying his wife) has said that all she needed was a hug. If they had been more caring and treated her "humanely" that she would not be dead now.

In this age of terrorism and the color chart from hell, how were the cops supposed to know that the woman was simply overemotional? If they hadn't arrested her after she started screaming and throwing things, people would have been outraged that they didn't act accordingly. Now it turns out she was allegedly drunk and emotionally unstable. I say, if you knew she was having problems and was about to check herself into a rehab center, wouldn't you have accompanied her to make sure it went smoothly? Am I being overly callous in thinking, where the heck was her "caring" family that were so worried about her? NO, because if it had been someone other than an affluent white woman that had been arrested for causing a disturbance and screaming "I'm not a terrorist" in a major American airport, they would have been taken down in hearbeat with no explanation needed. Kudos to the Phoenix airport police for doing what they were supposed to do. I understand that you don't have the luxury of sitting with every wacko to find out what they're "feeling" before they do something the could hurt lots of people.

Thanks DHS at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com

Almost everything is right with the world

Though Saturday was fabulous (what did I say Urban Meyer?) today, not so much. USC finally went down...to Stanford. Yep, Stanford! The school that is The Cardinal but has a mascot that's a tree. Don't ask me to explain it. They must know what they're doing. They have enough doctors graduating from Stanford to justify this train of thought. Anyhoo, so USC fell to a team that couldn't really compete, their words not mine, and LSU beat Florida after scaring the crap out of me. Yep, got pretty scared in the 4th quarter when Florida scored a touchdown and LSU really hadn't done much. Then all those going for it on 4th down, yikes. But Les knew what he was doing, it worked...a lot. Now they should be #1 without question. Florida should totally fall but they probably won't. Just like USC won't fall far even thought they lost...to Stanford. That's how the BS BCS works. So it starts.

The Saints lost...again...to Carolina...with the Carolina 3rd string quarterback. Okay, so technically it was the 2nd string quarterback, but he had been the 3rd stringer until Jake Delhomme got hurt. So he was pretty much the 3rd string QB. And Drew and Reggie blew it...again. I still root for them, but damn, they suck! It's like they're getting paid to lose. C'mon guys, wake up!!!! How can you play so good last year, and be so sucky this year? I'd look to next week but I don't think it matters too much.

4th and another loss at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com

A rose by any other name would smell not so good

So I watched part of The Bachelor the other night. I don't know why. That seems to be the general sentiment of all who view the show...why? Why do these women who seem relatively smart and pretty and have lots going for them subject themselves to the rejection and utter humiliation that is The Bachelor? Maybe it's for their 15 seconds of fame, maybe they're naive enough to actually believe they will get married if they're "chosen". I personally think they're not right in the head.

If for some reason you haven't seen this show or it's like 20 seasons before it, the premise is that one guy, one guy!, gets to choose from say about 20 hot women. He goes on dates with them and generally tries them on for size. And I do mean tries them on (eyebrows waggling here). The group of women is selectively reduced (probably more like cut from the herd) and then he's left with the one woman who receives a marriage proposal. Yeah, I see what's in it for the guy, but these girls are grouped into this gaggle of female hormones and all the wonderful things that go along with that. You women out there who have ever had to share a bathroom with more than one other woman know what I'm talking about here. If they're truly blessed, they'll receive a date with the dude without the other 20 other chicks in the house. So far, I've only seen the group dates and yuck. Who wants some other woman's sloppy seconds, let alone 19 other women's sloppy seconds? Maybe it's just me. Then at the end of these "dates" and the get to know you sessions, he eliminates a couple of ladies. Basically telling them in front of a national audience, "Sorry, but you suck and you're just not good enough for me." Yeah, sounds like a great time.

Is this the message that we should be sending young women around the country? Despite the fact that your successful, smart, beautiful, if you don't land this one guy and beat out all these other girls, you'll be a failure. WTF? Also, knowing the history of this show, who thinks that they're going to get married at the end anyway? How many of the couples from previous The Bachelor shows are married? That's right, none. Yep, so successful. Where's Dr. Phil when you need him? I personally think the cat fighting and back stabbing is pretty funny considering these people put themselves in this situation, but c'mon ladies! Buck up and think more of yourself than just selling it on ABC!

So much for empowerment at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.

It's so on now!

So the Gators went down on Saturday (say it with me folks...YEAH!!!!! Suck that Urban Meyer!) and the LSU game is poised to be a good one. They're even bringing Mike to the stadium for this game. Unfortunately, those darn AP people are trying to jinx them before the October 6 game. What are these people trying to do to me?

All said, Saturday was good. LSU gave us a bit of a scare the first quarter or so, but honestly, did any of us think the Green Wave was going to pose a problem for them? As for UF, am I the only one out there that thought that the whole "icing" the kicker was pretty sleazy? I think that if the coach tells the ref that he's going to call a time out just as the ball is snapped, it should count as a time out the second "I'm going to be calling a time out" leaves their lips. It's not just this game, it's every game that these coaches are pulling this prank. Just not cool people. Not cool. Props to the Auburn kicker though. Not only did he pull it off the first time (as Meyer was calling his time out), but also pulled it out the second time. It was even prettier the second time around. Let me reiterate my earlier statement...Suck on that Urban Meyer!

Geaux Tigers at life.sa.laugh@hotmail.com.